Easy Entertaining for Beginners

There are 3 main things that a beginner needs to concentrate on when entertaining family and friends.

1. The tone you set for your gathering as host.
2. The food
3. The table

All of the other bells and whistles of entertaining can be added and learned along the way as you gain some experience. But I would like to encourage you that you can host successful entertaining if you concentrate on the three basics above. You can create wonderful memories and connect with family and friends in a very effective way.

There is nothing wrong with meeting your friends in restaurants and that definitely has it’s place in our busy lives. But if you are doing that exclusively you are missing out. Socializing only in restaurants and happy hours is not quite the same as being invited into some one’s home. No big crowds, no waiting in long lines, no expensive bills. Just a chance to slow down in an intimate gathering with warm hospitality and good food. This is the gift you give to others when you host at-home entertaining.

In my last post, I blogged about how hosts can unwittingly set a negative tone for their party. Here are a few easy tips on how you can set a warm and welcoming tone for your guests when you are hosting casual entertaining in your home.

1. Since habitually running behind schedule can throw your timing and your schedule completely off, the remedy is simple. Just a bit of organization can keep all of your planning and preparation on track. The result? A host that is not frazzled and exhausted as the guests arrive. For example:

a. When you plan a get-together, give yourself 2-3 days for preparation. That might sound like a lot to you in our instant microwave world, but it is so well-worth the effort. You won’t be exhausted and you will have the chance to fix any mistakes you might make.

b. When you do some of your entertaining preparation a day or two before your dinner party, you will have time to get dressed and ready a couple of hours before guests arrive. Turn on the music, light the candles and take a deep breath. Remember, you are giving a gift to your guests of delicious food and warm friendship.

c. When guests arrive, make sure you greet each one and make introductions. Get a beverage in their hands and help guests who might not know each other well get acquainted. Offer a conversation starter such as something guests might have in common or something interesting from their lives. For instance, you could say, “Mary, I would like you to meet John.” “John, Mary was born in your birthplace, New York City.” Chances are, they will start chatting away about New York City and what is was like to grow up there and where exactly they each were born, etc. You get the picture. These attempts can encourage the start of a conversation for guests who are unfamiliar with each other and avoid the awkwardness that can be felt by guests who are new to your gathering. This sets a friendly tone for your party.

d. Lastly, you want your guests to feel of all the way you could be spending your time, being with them on that particular occasion is exactly where you prefer to be.

Let’s talk a little more about setting the tone. Let’s discuss first about a few ways hosts unwittingly set a negative tone for their party without even realizing it. Observe the following scenarios:

1. Scenario 1: The host is running way behind schedule. As guests are arriving he/she is frantically running around trying to finish the preparation.

2. Scenario 2: The host is not home at the beginning of the dinner party. Guests start to arrive while the host is still at the store picking up food.

3. Scenario 3: The host greets guests she knows well, but those newer to the gathering are left awkwardly standing or sitting by themselves. Although introductions may be made, there is no attempt to help guests unfamiliar with each other get acquainted.

This short list is by no means exclusive. Let’s observe how these scenarios set the wrong tone and may leave guests feeling uncomfortable.

1. Scenario 1: Guests who arrive at the scheduled time may feel like they have arrived too early if the host is still elbow-deep in preparation. The host’s invitation was important enough for the guests to make it a priority. They take time out of their busy lives to not only attend but to be thoughtful enough to attend on time.

2. Scenario 2: Once again, this is awkward for the guests who have arrived on time. While emergencies do happen in entertaining and hosts must be flexible, this type of Scenario should be far and few between. The guests may feel like they have made a mistake by arriving on time or some may even feel offended that they made the effort to arrive in a timely fashion, but the host did not. This can be especially true if it is a habitual occurrence at this host’s dinner parties. This can lead to guests realizing that this host’s parties rarely occur on time, so they will not bother to be on time themselves at his/her’s next gathering.

3. Scenario 3: Most people don’t love being in a social situation when they don’t know anyone. When a host does not make an attempt to help guests unfamiliar with each other get acquainted, this can make the newer guests feel out of place. Or they may feel that the gathering isn’t very friendly.

In my next post, we’ll talk about the things hosts can do to set a warm and friendly tone when they host casual entertaining.