Let’s talk a little more about setting the tone. Let’s discuss first about a few ways hosts unwittingly set a negative tone for their party without even realizing it. Observe the following scenarios:
1. Scenario 1: The host is running way behind schedule. As guests are arriving he/she is frantically running around trying to finish the preparation.
2. Scenario 2: The host is not home at the beginning of the dinner party. Guests start to arrive while the host is still at the store picking up food.
3. Scenario 3: The host greets guests she knows well, but those newer to the gathering are left awkwardly standing or sitting by themselves. Although introductions may be made, there is no attempt to help guests unfamiliar with each other get acquainted.
This short list is by no means exclusive. Let’s observe how these scenarios set the wrong tone and may leave guests feeling uncomfortable.
1. Scenario 1: Guests who arrive at the scheduled time may feel like they have arrived too early if the host is still elbow-deep in preparation. The host’s invitation was important enough for the guests to make it a priority. They take time out of their busy lives to not only attend but to be thoughtful enough to attend on time.
2. Scenario 2: Once again, this is awkward for the guests who have arrived on time. While emergencies do happen in entertaining and hosts must be flexible, this type of Scenario should be far and few between. The guests may feel like they have made a mistake by arriving on time or some may even feel offended that they made the effort to arrive in a timely fashion, but the host did not. This can be especially true if it is a habitual occurrence at this host’s dinner parties. This can lead to guests realizing that this host’s parties rarely occur on time, so they will not bother to be on time themselves at his/her’s next gathering.
3. Scenario 3: Most people don’t love being in a social situation when they don’t know anyone. When a host does not make an attempt to help guests unfamiliar with each other get acquainted, this can make the newer guests feel out of place. Or they may feel that the gathering isn’t very friendly.
In my next post, we’ll talk about the things hosts can do to set a warm and friendly tone when they host casual entertaining.
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